So, I am horrid at writing this blog. But in fairness it is probably because I'm always out having a great time and cannot bother myself with sitting down and writing/trying to be funny/etc... I know probably one person will read this, but I guess this is more for me than anyone.
Today I said goodbye to my life in Dublin. I said goodbye to the city that has been my home for 4 months and the country that has stolen my heart in such a short time. And it was the absolute hardest thing I've ever done. Now for those of you that don't know, I'm traveling over Christmas. Scotland was my first destination, and I arrived dizzy from lack of sleep at 8 am this morning. I am then going to Amsterdam and Berlin (for newyears). Ashley, you are the luckiest girl alive you might think to yourself. And I will never argue with that. I pretty much am the most fortunate girl in the world to have this experience, but at this point I'm not even excited. Sad, but very true.
I had the most amazing 4 months of my entire life in Dublin. I met THE most amazing people, and was fortunate enough not only to find a group that I had so much fun with, but to find some life-long friends who I feel like I have known since secondary school. Now, for those of you who haven't gone abroad and are so confused by my absolute dramatic behaviour, I would be confused as well if I were you. When I came to Ireland I thought I would have a great time, I thought I would live and learn and laugh a lot. But I never in my life thought I would meet such amazing people and become so close to them in such a short time. And it was one of the hardest things I've ever done saying goodbye to them. Now for those of you (if anyone is reading this) who shared this experience in Ireland with me, I have something to say to you. To the people who have been there for me when I was stressing out about exams, when I was in a country with absolutely no one and you reached out your hand to me, to the people that watched out for me, who made sure I was always ok getting home and after traveling. To my FAMILY in Dublin-I love you more than anything in the world. I can honestly say I am the luckiest girl alive and it has been my honor to know you, and my life is not the same without you in it. It is because of my friends that I have had an amazing experience abroad, and I would not give it up for anything.
Saying that, you can probably imagine why I want to jump out of the window right now. Saying goodbye to home is hard, but you know you're coming back and you will still see your dad making something (and usually swearing because he's broken something) in the garage, your dog barking at absolutely nothing, and your cat will be there when you get back. But this is different. I know I will see these people again, but it will NEVER be the same. I will never be able to call one of them just to get coffee, and I will never wake up in the morning and know I am close to them all. We will probably never be in the same place at the same time. THAT is what hurts the most. Knowing that literally makes my heart ache.
On the last days I had in Dublin, I spent as much time with these people as possible. I cooked with them, had breakfast, lunch, and dinner with them, and we had about 7 goodbyes. It was always a joke that didn't know what we were going to do when we left--"Yup, we're going to break down." we always used to say. Well, it's not funny anymore, it's just true. I broke down when I left. And have continued to do so since I arrived.
This blog is depressing and cheesey and I will probably regret writing it in a months time, but at this point I do not care. I miss my friends. I miss my city. And I want to go back right now.
